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Body Dysmorphia, Body Shaming, Passing Comments and Why You Should Never Tell a Woman CONGRATS!

Updated: Sep 30, 2019

After my wife had our twins (our 3rd and 4th children) she would often come home crying.

I almost always knew what it was.

Someone had asked when she was due, or had said, "Congrats!".

For the record, that is never ok unless you're 1000% sure that someone is pregnant.

Recently a super slim, super fit member of one of my gyms came in a little bit upset. A less-fit friend had remarked that she was 'looking bulky'. She's 5'8" (I think), 118 pounds and can do muscle ups and squat a ton of weight.

She's strong, but if you know anything you can look at those numbers and know she's not bulky.

One of the strongest and most jacked men in my gyms thinks he's fat.

He has almost no body fat and veins pop out of his arms.

Depending on the day of the week or the size of my shirt or the length of my beard, I get told almost daily I look leaner, bigger, skinner, taller, older, younger, happier and any number of other things.

How do you get people to notice you've been working out if you're a dude?

Wear a smaller shirt. How do you get people to ask if you've lost weight? Wear a bigger shirt.

Before mentioning someone else's appearance, stop and think.

Speak positivity to it.

Words have immense power, and people will internalize passing comments for years.

You'll forget you said it, they'll carry it with them.

I hear the stories every day.

If you can't turn it positive, stop.

Just stop. Change the subject. Look at the sky.

But never,


tell a woman congrats.

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Mya Murphy
Mya Murphy
Aug 31, 2021

I thoroughly enjoyed this blog, thanks for sharing


Vivianne Maduro
Vivianne Maduro
Sep 30, 2019

Great article. I've seen the "congratulations" hurt several of my mommy friends. Thanks for bringing it up.

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